Doing What Little I Can

   Second physio session today, and I've booked my cortisol injection for my right shoulder for next Tuesday, its loosening up a bit and I'm getting some ROM back which is nice. Gonna get the physio to check out my back / tight hamstrings / screwy groin muscle when I'm sore from that injection and hopefully I can deal with some of the pain there and get some flexibility in my hamstrings - I'm almost sure they exacerbate the issue in my lower back.

   When I go on a run to woollies there are two types of mindsets I'm in: buying junk food or buying healthy food. There are no exceptions, and I think it reflects a little on the kind of eater that I am. I'm all or nothing and that fucking sucks, I know if I cheat on a meal or if I eat something sweet it just makes things that much worse, and eventually I just binge eat. When I'm not watching what I eat, I feel like shit because all I eat is cereal, bread, sugar, chocolate and maybe a 40% chance that I'll eat dinner rather than just snacking on some more shit food. When I am watching what I eat I'll eat really clean - like I am now: chicken, rice, green beans, peas, carrots, broccoli, avocado, eggs, fish, protein shakes. But again, I feel like shit. Not a few hours goes by where I don't think "Hey, how good would it feel to grab a meatbox right now" or "I just finished work, and Maccas is around the corner". Fuck that, I know when I'm finished I'm just going to regret it because it was unnecessary and I will physically feel bad because of the low grade of food. Yet its so enticing when I'm devoid of it in my diet. I'm just going to keep the mentality that I physically am not allowed to eat any shitty food - not "I won't eat that", "I CAN'T eat that".

     I had so many years of terrible eating, during high school I'd have cereal if I had time, maybe grab a toasted cheese sandwhich at the canteen and for a period lunch was a donut and a bottle of coke. If I felt like it I'd grab a packet of doritos on the way back home, though probably not more than once or twice a week and if I felt hungry at home then I'd make a nutella sandwhich, or 3 (with a shit ton of nutella). Eat whatever was available for dinner and then snack on anything sugary if it was around. And that shit just got worse when I had more disposable income - and even worse when I finally got my Ps and Woollies opened up near me. I've been trying to eat well on and off since late last year and no matter how many times I fuck up I know I need to change this because there is no way I can eat like this for the rest of my life.

    I want to play in a basketball league again. I really miss being at the gym or doing any exercise at all, I don't know how other people manage to spend their days not moving and not doing any physical activity but. it. fucking. sucks.

Injuries

    Went to the doctor's 2-3 weeks back about my shoulders that have been giving me grief since the end of December and followed up again yesterday after I saw no change in my pain. I've got a small widening in my AC joint in my right shoulder, messed up some ligaments there and I'm going to get an ultrasound done later today at 3 to see what problem is going on with my left shoulder. Going to be out from any physical activity besides running for the next 6-8 weeks at the least, which is very frustrating considering I've already been doing nothing but basketball (once a week, if that) for the last 2 months - a total of 4 months. I guess the best I can hope for is that I've only strained some muscles in the other shoulder because I've injured them both differently, and I'd rather hope the left one is not as bad.

    CTP greenslip, registration, uni books, uni fees, insurance and now physio sessions - all within the next month, right after paying off my car fully. My wallet is crying.

Where I Stand

I've kept the weight I put on over November / December off - I was sitting at 87 for a while and I've been fluctuating between 81-83 at the moment, so its a start. Blogging is always such a challenge for me, or even consistently writing things down, but I'll try my best (again).

Gym wise, my shoulders are still pretty screwy, definitely healing up, but its taking a really long time. I don't think I've been able to go to the gym since late December, i.e. 6-7 weeks (probably aggravated by the swimming and weekly basketball).

Things I want to try to get into at the moment are:

• Swimming consistently:
• a pain in the ass at the moment because of all the swimming carnivals going on, I need to find out when they schedule these, or just be bothered enough to call ahead - just being lazy on this point I guess.
• Go hard on legs at the gym:
• Even with my shoulders injured I could be working out my legs, but my back is usually a mess so I really haven't been able to consistently do legs at the gym for a really long time. I need to rest better at night and stop putting myself in really shitty positions when I sleep / sit at a chair / drive. With all the bball we've been playing I really want to get a better foundation.
• Sleep:
• I think I don't get enough sleep because of gaming. We start playing at like 11.30, finish at 2 and I usually stay awake for another 30 minutes. I've definitely been playing less than before we went South but I really do need to limit it to ~1-2 a week max. 
•  Flexibility:
• A consistent problem: I can't stretch well because my back is in pain and my back is in pain because I can't stretch. See a physio when I have some disposable income I guess?
• Climbing:
• Hard to do because I work on Saturdays, and if I didn't I need to budget some time to study during the semester, considering I finish reffing in 5 weeks - I never fucking study (but that's not relevant here). The gym at St Peters is usually free during the day so that is an option, though I really dislike the holds / layout they have at that gym, and I can't drive to Wetheril during the day, especially with me having the only car in the family.

I'll bring more stuff up when I remember them, next blog post - but those are the things on my mind, at least fitness wise.

I get decent results on keto, though I worry overly about the kinds of fats that I'm eating - cutting simple carbs and sugars is good, replacing them with bad fatty foods isn't. Plus meeting caloric requirements is really hard, right now I'm messing with a few meal plans that I can follow and switch between so that my diet isn't stale and I don't immediately lose motivation.